We are officially past the one year mark.
This year has been busy. Way. Too. Busy.
We have always been a very active couple. Having our own business is more than a full time job and two years ago we added another business venture to our plate. After being married last year we gave our business a great big push to generate more income and allow us to save a little moolah in the process.
Simply put, life pushed back.
Some things were better
most some things were harder than I thought they would be. There were expectations, unrealistic goals, stress, pressure, no quality time, etc. And a lot of it came from outside sources. We forgot that the only ones in charge of our marriage was us.
Last weekend we had enough. We looked at each other and without discussion it was done. He called the hotel I threw some swimsuits and flip flops in a bag and we drove 20 minutes away to the beach. We spent two days laying on the sand, going out to dinner, staying up late, not talking about business, money, future plans, broken cars, unpaid bills.
It was perfect and exactly what we needed. I know we are not the only newly married couple that went through this but at the time it felt like it.
If I was to go back and give myself a little pep talk before the wedding this is what I would have said.
LIFE WILL CHANGE AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
No matter how long we have been together before the wedding. No matter how perfect all our plans were. No matter how hard I tried to align it all perfect. There is this little thing called life and it really likes a good curve ball. (You would think we would be good at hitting them by now.) Patience, practice, deep breathes and a lot of Hail Marys.
We like to joke and laugh. Laughing is our favorite activity. This first year we didn’t do too much of that. On our impromptu get away we laughed for 2 days. Don’t forget to be silly and don’t take yourself too seriously.
DO WHAT’S BEST FOR OUR LITTLE FAMILY.
At the end of the day we need to make life choices that are best for our family. This may seem like a no brainer, but you would be surprised how many people around you feel like they have a say (this starts with wedding planning by the way). I am terrible at getting so caught up in “what will people think of us if we do ?” Thankfully, it has only taken me one year to figure out that way of thinking is very tiring and the end result was an unhappy pair of newlyweds.
I’m talking about exactly what you think I am. Practice makes it better and brings you closer in the process.
This is all I came up with for now. I am so lucky I have a sweet and patient new husband. One who is pretty level headed and helped to gently help me see that even though this year was hard “it really is going to be ok”. We can and did get through this crazy time together.